Second Time Mom
Your Birth
Your Birth
Preferences.
Not a birth plan โ a birth preferences document. Plans get filed. Preferences get respected. Answer one question at a time and we'll build yours together.
Getting started0%
To get us started
What's your name?
Question 1 of 25
When is your estimated due date?
Your care team
Question 2 of 25
Who is your primary provider?
Your provider's practice philosophy shapes what they'll support. If your preferences and their defaults differ, this document opens that conversation before labor โ not during it.
Your environment
Question 3 of 25
Where are you planning to give birth?
Your environment shapes your experience more than most people are told. A room that feels calm, warm, and private tends to support labor progressing naturally. What matters most is that wherever you are, you feel safe.
Note on birth centers: They're not available everywhere. If you're drawn to a birth center experience but don't have one nearby, "labor tourism" โ traveling to a city or area that has the facility or provider you want โ is more common than people realize, and for some it's absolutely worth it.
Note on birth centers: They're not available everywhere. If you're drawn to a birth center experience but don't have one nearby, "labor tourism" โ traveling to a city or area that has the facility or provider you want โ is more common than people realize, and for some it's absolutely worth it.
Your support team
Question 4 of 25
Who do you want present during labor and birth?
Labor works best when you feel genuinely safe and supported. Choose people who can take direction and hold space quietly when that's what you need. You're allowed to limit who's present, and you're allowed to change your mind during labor.
Select all that apply.
Pain management
Question 5 of 25
What is your approach to pain management?
Whatever you choose, the goal is that you feel prepared for it. An informed epidural birth looks completely different from an unprepared one.
Something worth knowing โ the cascade of interventions: Each intervention can sometimes make the next one more likely. Pitocin makes contractions stronger, which can lead to requesting an epidural. An epidural can slow labor, which can lead to more Pitocin. This cycle can occasionally increase the chance of a C-section โ not always, not inevitably, but it's a real pattern. Knowing it exists doesn't mean avoiding all interventions. It means going in with eyes open so you can make deliberate choices. Write what feels true right now. You're allowed to change your mind.
Something worth knowing โ the cascade of interventions: Each intervention can sometimes make the next one more likely. Pitocin makes contractions stronger, which can lead to requesting an epidural. An epidural can slow labor, which can lead to more Pitocin. This cycle can occasionally increase the chance of a C-section โ not always, not inevitably, but it's a real pattern. Knowing it exists doesn't mean avoiding all interventions. It means going in with eyes open so you can make deliberate choices. Write what feels true right now. You're allowed to change your mind.
Pain management
Question 6 of 25
How would you like your care team to handle pain medication offers?
Some people find it helpful to be reminded of options. Others find it distracting or feel pressured when staff ask repeatedly. Either is completely reasonable โ this just helps your team know how to support you best.
Pain management
Question 7 of 25
Would you like to use water for pain relief?
Warm water relaxes muscles, reduces the sensation of contractions, and lowers cortisol โ even a shower can shift the experience significantly. It's one of the most accessible tools available and it's free. Worth asking your provider or facility in advance whether a tub or shower is accessible during labor.
Interventions
Question 8 of 25
What are your preferences for fetal monitoring?
Continuous monitoring gives your care team a constant read on baby and is standard in most hospitals. It does limit movement. Intermittent monitoring allows more freedom and is an option in low-risk pregnancies at some facilities. Worth asking your provider what's available and what they recommend for your situation.
Interventions
Question 9 of 25
IV access and fluids during labor?
A hep-lock is a port placed in your arm that gives emergency IV access without a running drip โ it keeps your hands free and lets you move. A continuous IV is required if you have an epidural or need Pitocin. If staying mobile matters to you, it's worth asking about a hep-lock at the start of labor.
Interventions
Question 10 of 25
Artificial membrane rupture (breaking your water)?
Your provider may recommend artificially rupturing your membranes to speed up labor. Some people prefer to let this happen naturally. Neither approach is universally right โ this preference simply prompts a conversation before it happens rather than in the moment.
Interventions
Question 11 of 25
If your water breaks before labor starts, what would you prefer?
When membranes rupture before contractions begin (PROM), providers often recommend Pitocin to start labor quickly. Some people prefer to wait and see if labor begins naturally, with monitoring for infection. Talk to your provider about their protocol and what waiting looks like in your specific situation.
Interventions
Question 12 of 25
How do you feel about Pitocin to augment labor?
Pitocin is synthetic oxytocin used to start or speed up labor. It makes contractions stronger and closer together, which can be helpful when labor slows โ and harder to cope with unmedicated. This connects directly to the cascade of interventions we covered in question 5: Pitocin, epidural, and C-section risk can build on each other. This isn't a reason to refuse Pitocin when it's medically needed. It's a reason to ask why it's being recommended and make a deliberate choice rather than a pressured one.
Pushing + delivery
Question 13 of 25
How would you like to push?
Some hospitals use directed pushing โ coached, counted breath-holds. Others support following your own urge and breathing the baby down. Both work.
On position: Some sources state that pushing while lying on your back increases tearing risk โ however, if you've been mobile for most of labor, there is no meaningful increase in tearing risk from any position in the final stage.
On slow crowning: One of the most effective things for reducing tearing is pace. When baby's head is actually emerging, counting slowly to ten with each push allows your perineum time to stretch gradually rather than all at once. This is what slow crowning actually means in practice. Your provider can coach you through this when the time comes.
On position: Some sources state that pushing while lying on your back increases tearing risk โ however, if you've been mobile for most of labor, there is no meaningful increase in tearing risk from any position in the final stage.
On slow crowning: One of the most effective things for reducing tearing is pace. When baby's head is actually emerging, counting slowly to ten with each push allows your perineum time to stretch gradually rather than all at once. This is what slow crowning actually means in practice. Your provider can coach you through this when the time comes.
Pushing + delivery
Question 14 of 25
What are your preferences around tearing and episiotomy?
Episiotomy is much less common now than it used to be, and most providers only perform one if they feel it's medically necessary. Warm compresses and perineal support during crowning are techniques some providers use โ not universal practice, so worth mentioning if it's something you'd like. A conversation with your provider before labor is the best way to understand their typical approach.
After birth
Question 15 of 25
Cord clamping and cord blood preferences?
Delayed cord clamping โ waiting before cutting โ allows additional blood to transfer from placenta to baby. Research supports this for most deliveries and it costs nothing.
If you're considering cord blood banking: A "partial delay" may allow some delay benefits while still collecting cord blood โ the cord is clamped later than immediately but earlier than full pulsation stops. Talk to your provider and your cord blood bank about timing.
Worth knowing: cord blood banking is a significant financial investment, and the technology for using stored cord blood is still limited in practice. Many families who bank it never use it. Do your research carefully before committing โ go in informed rather than marketed-to. Cord blood collection and full delayed clamping cannot both be done at the same time โ choose your priority or discuss a partial delay.
If you're considering cord blood banking: A "partial delay" may allow some delay benefits while still collecting cord blood โ the cord is clamped later than immediately but earlier than full pulsation stops. Talk to your provider and your cord blood bank about timing.
Worth knowing: cord blood banking is a significant financial investment, and the technology for using stored cord blood is still limited in practice. Many families who bank it never use it. Do your research carefully before committing โ go in informed rather than marketed-to. Cord blood collection and full delayed clamping cannot both be done at the same time โ choose your priority or discuss a partial delay.
Select all that apply.
After birth
Question 16 of 25
What would you like to do with your placenta?
Most people have never thought about this โ and that's completely normal. Your placenta is an organ your body built over nine months and some families choose to honor that. Options range from encapsulation (dried and made into capsules, sometimes said to support postpartum recovery and mood) to planting it ceremonially, to simply leaving it with the hospital. If you're curious about encapsulation, research it before your birth โ you'll need to arrange a specialist in advance.
After birth
Question 17 of 25
Skin-to-skin contact after birth?
Immediate skin-to-skin helps regulate baby's temperature, heart rate, and blood sugar, and initiates bonding. Routine newborn procedures like weighing and measuring can usually wait. Most providers are happy to accommodate this โ it just helps to say so in advance.
After birth
Question 18 of 25
Newborn procedures โ eye ointment and vitamin K?
A note from someone who skipped these the first time: Both the eye ointment (erythromycin, protecting against bacterial infection) and the vitamin K shot (supporting blood clotting โ newborns are born with very low vitamin K) are strongly medically indicated. I opted out with my first baby, and after a good pediatrician walked me through the actual reasons for both with my second, I went ahead with them and wish I had the first time. You absolutely have the right to decline or delay โ that's your choice. But go in knowing these aren't routine formalities; they're both genuinely protective. You can delay them to allow for skin-to-skin time without opting out entirely.
Feeding
Question 19 of 25
What are your feeding intentions?
Start with breastfeeding if you can โ the first days of skin-to-skin and latching matter for milk supply and bonding. Ask for a lactation consultant before you leave your birth facility; it's free and makes an enormous difference. Some babies won't latch due to tongue ties or other factors โ there's no shame in that.
One thing most people don't hear until it's too late: Around two weeks postpartum, introduce one bottle per day โ and keep doing one every day after that. Nipple confusion isn't the concern it's made out to be, and introducing bottles too late or too inconsistently can result in baby refusing to take a bottle at all. And when that happens, only mom can feed them. At night. Every time. With no one else able to step in. The two-week introduction isn't about replacing nursing. It's about keeping your options open. This document covers your birth preferences โ the bottle introduction is something to plan for at home.
One thing most people don't hear until it's too late: Around two weeks postpartum, introduce one bottle per day โ and keep doing one every day after that. Nipple confusion isn't the concern it's made out to be, and introducing bottles too late or too inconsistently can result in baby refusing to take a bottle at all. And when that happens, only mom can feed them. At night. Every time. With no one else able to step in. The two-week introduction isn't about replacing nursing. It's about keeping your options open. This document covers your birth preferences โ the bottle introduction is something to plan for at home.
Baby care
Question 20 of 25
Where would you like baby to stay after birth?
Rooming-in โ keeping baby with you in your recovery room โ supports bonding and breastfeeding. A nursery is available at some hospitals for rest. You can always change your mind once you see how you feel after labor.
Baby care
Question 21 of 25
Baby bathing preferences?
The vernix โ the white coating on newborn skin โ has protective and moisturizing properties. Delaying or skipping the first bath is increasingly common and most hospitals support it. If you have specific product preferences, bring your own and note it here.
Baby care
Question 22 of 25
If applicable โ circumcision?
If you're expecting or may be having a boy, noting your preference now means your care team isn't asking in the rush of early postpartum. Some families decide not to circumcise, or to delay circumcision, for social, cultural, or religious reasons โ and that's a completely personal decision. There's no wrong answer here. If you'd like it done before discharge, it can usually be arranged in hospital.
If things change
Question 23 of 25
If a C-section becomes necessary, what matters most to you?
Being prepared for a C-section if it becomes necessary means you've already thought through what matters to you โ so it doesn't feel like it's happening to you. A family-centered C-section can include a clear drape, immediate skin-to-skin, and delayed cord clamping. Worth asking whether it's available at your facility, just so you know what's possible.
Select all that apply.
Your team
Question 24 of 25
Have you chosen a pediatrician?
Your baby's pediatrician should be notified of the birth and will typically visit in hospital. If you have one chosen, noting them here means your care team can coordinate. If you haven't chosen one yet, the hospital can usually recommend options or may have a pediatrician on staff who visits all newborns. If you're uninsured or still deciding, ask the hospital โ they're used to this situation.
Anything else
Question 25 of 25
Is there anything else you want your care team to know?
This is your space. A few things worth mentioning here if they apply to you:
โข Previous birth experiences or trauma โ including sexual trauma, which can unexpectedly surface during labor. If this applies to you, asking staff to explain what they're doing before they do it, and to ask permission before any physical contact, makes a real difference.
โข GBS positive status and how you'd like your IV managed around antibiotic administration
โข Wanting sterile water injections if you experience back labor
โข Wanting to touch baby's head as it crowns
โข Specific products you're bringing โ perineal oil, baby wash, etc.
โข The facility's policies on things like candles, music, dimming lights, or diffusers โ worth asking in advance if these matter to your environment
โข Cultural, spiritual, or religious considerations
โข Who should be called first after birth
โข Previous birth experiences or trauma โ including sexual trauma, which can unexpectedly surface during labor. If this applies to you, asking staff to explain what they're doing before they do it, and to ask permission before any physical contact, makes a real difference.
โข GBS positive status and how you'd like your IV managed around antibiotic administration
โข Wanting sterile water injections if you experience back labor
โข Wanting to touch baby's head as it crowns
โข Specific products you're bringing โ perineal oil, baby wash, etc.
โข The facility's policies on things like candles, music, dimming lights, or diffusers โ worth asking in advance if these matter to your environment
โข Cultural, spiritual, or religious considerations
โข Who should be called first after birth
You're done.
Your Birth
Your Birth
Preferences are ready.
Your document is built and waiting. Print it, share it with your provider at your next appointment, and give a copy to everyone who will be in the room with you. It's one page. It fits in your hospital bag. It says everything that needs to be said โ in language that gets respected.
Want to go deeper on every decision you just made?
Second Time Mom covers all of it โ in the order your brain can handle it.
Your document โ building as you go
Birth Preferences
Prepared by โ ยท Due โ
Care Team
Providerโ
Locationโ
Supportโ
Pediatricianโ
Pain Management
Approachโ
Med offersโ
Hydrotherapyโ
Interventions
Monitoringโ
IV accessโ
Membranesโ
If water breaksโ
Pitocinโ
Pushing + Delivery
Pushingโ
Tearingโ
After Birth
Cord clampingโ
Placentaโ
Skin-to-skinโ
Proceduresโ
Baby Care
Feedingโ
Baby locationโ
Bathingโ
Circumcisionโ
If C-Section
Preferencesโ
These are my preferences, not a contract. I reserve the right to change my mind. Bring this to your next appointment and share it with everyone in your birth space.
